Sunday, August 15, 2010

Issues in the Workplace

-Rob Bartlett will be at Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club in Point Pleasant Beach, NJ this this Friday, August 21. Tickets and more information can be found here.

-So, as the subject line said, I have a certain issue in the workplace. One of my coworkers is dating Pig Feets.

No, really. He hails from the Mississippi Delta, he’s a white boy (well, he’s 40, so he's not really a “boy”); and most importantly, he tohks jus like he frum da ribbah. He’s super nice and everything, but GUYS. He’s Pigs Feet.

The best was when we all went to a restaurant the other day, and he went on a long extended monologue about True Blood, which is a show about vampires. Picture Feets talking about fictional vampire love relationships for fifteen minutes in a Japanese restaurant, and you will truly know what it is like to live my life.

Of course, I’m not mentioning this to anyone. They’re happy, and my coworker is far too sweet to know that her boyfriend was previously dating a chicken.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wow. Just...Wow.

As we quietly read our lunch menus, I couldn't help but listen to the people in the booth behind me. They were a couple, a man and a woman, and they were holding a lively conversation.

The woman was talking about a person - I have no idea who - but her caustic tone showed that she wasn't a fan of him. And the man felt the same way.

Because when she finished her story the man slapped the table and cried, "Get OFF my PHONE! Are you SERIOUS?"

* * *

So, question. Do people actually use this phrase? Is it popular with The Kids Today, or something? Because I had no idea.

Now it's your turn. Have you ever had a weird situation like this? Random people on the sidewalk or in the Chinese restaurant singing "Astral Weeks" or quoting Alger Hiss? Share your stories.