Saturday, March 13, 2010

The Lost Boys

-I think my new favorite catchphrase is “He’s one taco short of a Happy Meal.”

-I know a lot of people like the “5 Songs of the Week” thing, and this week happened to have a pretty good selection: it was “Doo-Wop Week,” and featured five songs of that genre.

This is 100% coincidence, I’m sure, but two of those songs - The Silhouettes' "Get a Job" and the Del-Vikings' "Come Go With Me" - are featured on one of my favorite soundtracks of all time. It's also the soundtrack to one of the more traumatizing movies I’ve ever seen: Stand By Me.

Why traumatizing? Because of my expectations. Since this is a movie about four young boys on an adventurous journey, I went into this film thinking it would be a fun “childhood adventure movie.” And it is: It’s about sad, jaded adults looking back to that glorious, carefree, innocent childhood of the 50s – back when your abusive family of drunks and killers made you an outcast in small-town America. Or when your superstar quarterback brother was the only family member who ever loved you, but now he’s DEAD, and your parents mourn their far-superior offspring by wishing that you were the one in the coffin. Or when your adored, PTSD-riddled father tries to kill you by holding your face to the hot stove, burns off your ear, and is promptly shipped to the insane asylum. Or when your "friends" all hated you because you were fat, or something, and they barely tolerated your much-loathed presence. Oh, and in the climax they all find a dead kid in the swamp, and everybody screams and cries and freaks out. Crank up the Buddy Holly!

I never quite got the message of this movie. So childhood is much better than being an adult…but…childhood sucked too? I guess? So life is horrible either way? Eraserhead was more uplifting than this film.

The one saving grace of this movie is the villain, who's played by a teenaged Kiefer Sutherland. At that period in his life, Kiefer was, officially, the blondest person in the United States. Seriously. Lots of people have blond hair; Kiefer’s hair was yellow. This slightly unsettling picture barely does it justice, but he looked like he’d gone apple-bobbing in the Crayola “Yellow” vat. Or head-butted a freshly painted school bus. Every time he appeared onscreen I just stared slackjawed, saying, “Wow! His HAIR!” while he ran around stabbing some orphans. It caused a terrific distraction from the tortured kids and dead people and general despair, so, thank you, Mr. Sutherland. It should also be noted that a few years later he again used his versatile, gorgeous locks in a different field, specifically: Vampiric Mullets.

But this is not a blog about vampire mullets; this is a blog about the Imus program. And so the next point will actually be related to the show, and it's about

-Videos. I know that a lot of you like to watch clips of the program online, and if you go to the Video Site, and select "Imus in the Morning" or "Imus Extras" from the menu, then you'll find a lot of fun stuff that usually doesn't make it to Youtube. The only downside is that John McEnroe screams at you a lot between video clips. But that is the price you have to pay for Pig Feets.


Johnny Mac said...

Yeah, childhood and adulthood suck-a-tated in the 50's...

Thus, the rebellious Rock n Roll was born! Yay!

...and all that rebelliousness ultimately created a 'creature named Don Imus! Yay, again!

So, thank you Fabulous 50's!

Dr. Phil said...

Pretty interesting, but a little too deep for Imus fans...

Remember who you're dealing with here...Imus fans are like Imus...they think like a 10 yr old.

Write more about Gangsta Mickey and stuff!

Coach Brown said...

Anyone know if Inside Imus was cancelled. I can't get into the site and there isn't a button to sign up.