Every woman possesses a deep, dark secret within the confines of her own home: The makeup drawer. If you are a woman, or if you've ever lived with one, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. This is the drawer, usually in the bathroom, where the woman throws anything vaguely cosmetics-related. You never know what you'll find in there. Holiday Inn shampoos dating back to the Reagan administration. Lipstick with shades like "Puce Rutabaga" that the owner wouldn't wear to a leprosy ward. Glittery, radioactive-shaded nail polish for kids, stored in vials that are old enough to drive, drink, or vote.
When I opened mine a few days ago, searching for something, I found an item in the very back that's similar to those above. The only difference? It was much, much more sinister.
(Actually it was lip gloss, but that picture from the beauty website is more prettier and stuff.)
I have absolutely no idea how this got there, or from whence it came; all I know is that I'm truly frightened that A) this exists, and B) it somehow ended up in my house. Honestly, the Imus Ranch should probably just stick to coffee.