Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Cabinet of Mysteries

Every woman possesses a deep, dark secret within the confines of her own home: The makeup drawer. If you are a woman, or if you've ever lived with one, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. This is the drawer, usually in the bathroom, where the woman throws anything vaguely cosmetics-related. You never know what you'll find in there. Holiday Inn shampoos dating back to the Reagan administration. Lipstick with shades like "Puce Rutabaga" that the owner wouldn't wear to a leprosy ward. Glittery, radioactive-shaded nail polish for kids, stored in vials that are old enough to drive, drink, or vote.

When I opened mine a few days ago, searching for something, I found an item in the very back that's similar to those above. The only difference? It was much, much more sinister.



(Actually it was lip gloss, but that picture from the beauty website is more prettier and stuff.)

I have absolutely no idea how this got there, or from whence it came; all I know is that I'm truly frightened that A) this exists, and B) it somehow ended up in my house. Honestly, the Imus Ranch should probably just stick to coffee.

13 comments:

Mike said...

It's for his Jewish wedding dates with Charles.

Word verification now is "redratio." Weird.

Juan More Dollar said...

CG, count your blessings that the brand name on that lip gloss tube isn't "FMAN."

Word verification is now "derlea."

DL said...

Alexis Glick quit. Be interesting to find out why.

Anonymous said...

why is Sandra Smith no longer on IMUS?

Al said...

Most women can only work with Imus for so long, then they outta there!

Al said...

Imus came in and took air-time away from Alexis, so now she's gone...

Imus in, Alexis out

Al said...

hmm, 'interesting' guest lineup today...

Good thing Imus has built up such a large fan base over the years, because he probably ain't picking up any new fans/listeners these days...

no wonder Alexis and Sandra are elsewhere...

CG said...

Wow, judging by the breaking news, it appears Chris Dodd is taking a cue from the Fox Business anchors. I think he's trying a little too hard to get away from the I-Man. ;)

Yeah, FMAN would have been a MUCH scarier thing to see in that drawer. I don't want to think about the potential products...

Once I got "disco" for word verification, so apparently the Google message robot thingy wants me to buy polyester, or something.

I believe my lip gloss would make perfect fodder for a Jewish Wedding Date. ("Why can't you put on any nice lipstick, for crying out loud?" "I DID! I put on lip gloss!" "That's not lipstick! It's clear and it's see-through, no color at all! It's like you put on nothing!", "Yes I DID! What do you know about lipstick!", etc.)

Sarah Palin said...

What's the difference between a hocky mom and a pit bull?



lipstick.



sorry, I couldn't resist. plus I love using that word verification word/thing

Fake Cardinal Egan, bejeez. said...

http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/56236-1

Now this makes me feel young.

Keyboard Jockey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keyboard Jockey said...

Warner picked the Tide this morning to win the Rose Bowl Go ahead turn your teevees off now :)

http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2010/01/imus-in-mornings-warner-wolf-favors.html

CG said...

Hah, I wholeheartedly agree with Warner!

And Your Eminence, that is an amazing find. You were so young, you weren't even in the diocese yet!

I love all of our guests who show up here, including ex-candidates...