Wednesday, January 27, 2010


The Imus program has extended to 9:20 AM, ending shortly before Stuart Varney's program. This is, of course, on he television side and is intended for Fox Business viewers. If you listen to the radio instead, well, things are pretty much the same and you'll probably never get back those thirty seconds that you spent reading this. My apologies.

Monday, January 18, 2010


It was recently announced that Saudi Prince al-Waleed bin Talal has talked to Rupert Murdoch about investing in Murdoch's news conglomerate. Personally, I welcome his involvement. Why, you ask? Take a look at a picture of the Prince, when he was in Bulgaria getting some award, and you'll see why:

If he buys Fox News, the channel will be nothing but old-couple bickering and people yelling at their best friends. And seriously, how awesome is that? The obvious downside, of course, is that I can't see a Saudi prince tolerating any "Jewish marriages."

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

That's So 2007

There's a lot of stuff in the news right now that smacks of that fateful year. There's also a lot of stuff that does not smack it, but rather strokes it gently. Such as:

- The Leno-Conan mess at NBC. I know you're all familiar with the situation, and you've likely heard that Conan has announced his resignation. This means that NBC will soon be naming his inevitable, long-awaited replacement: Lane Kiffin.

No, seriously, they'll name Leno and put an end to the long national nightmare that was completely their own doing. Has NBC learned from anything at all, in the past three years or so, about "crisis management" and "planning ahead"? At least the Imus situation came from nowhere; but they had five years to prepare for the Tonight Show handover. It even goes beyond April 2007 incompetencies, if such a thing is possible.

But anyway, best of luck to Conan. I always loved watching him in high school and I'm sure his second act is right down the road. And hey, he wouldn't be the first person to leave NBC for greater success at Fox.

- So, what's this deal with Harold Ford Jr. running for the New York Senate seat? Even though he's from, like, Tennessee? Can someone explain this to me?

- Also 2007: Racial gaffes! Harry Reid has been the talk of the town, probably much to the relief of Rod Blagojevich. This is too bad, because Blago's comment - that he was "blacker" than the President - was pretty bizarre/hilarious, even for him. What made me laugh even harder was his statement afterwards: "I deeply apologize for the way that was said and having said it. Obviously, I am not blacker than President Obama."

Thursday, January 7, 2010


You can't watch healthcare coverage there...but hey, at least you can watch this!

(Muchos gracias, Fake Cardinal.)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Cabinet of Mysteries

Every woman possesses a deep, dark secret within the confines of her own home: The makeup drawer. If you are a woman, or if you've ever lived with one, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. This is the drawer, usually in the bathroom, where the woman throws anything vaguely cosmetics-related. You never know what you'll find in there. Holiday Inn shampoos dating back to the Reagan administration. Lipstick with shades like "Puce Rutabaga" that the owner wouldn't wear to a leprosy ward. Glittery, radioactive-shaded nail polish for kids, stored in vials that are old enough to drive, drink, or vote.

When I opened mine a few days ago, searching for something, I found an item in the very back that's similar to those above. The only difference? It was much, much more sinister.

(Actually it was lip gloss, but that picture from the beauty website is more prettier and stuff.)

I have absolutely no idea how this got there, or from whence it came; all I know is that I'm truly frightened that A) this exists, and B) it somehow ended up in my house. Honestly, the Imus Ranch should probably just stick to coffee.