Sunday, June 7, 2009

Bizarre Headline of the Day

16 comments:

keyboard.jockey said...

Nagin was reportedly in China looking for his mother...he hasn't found her yet right? I feared we would relocate people to far and wide after Katrina aftermath. LOL!

dee said...

I don't know why that headline cracked me up - but it did

The Nagin appearances on Imus were so funny!

Mike said...

Haha, hopefully it takes them a while to determine whether or not he has it.

And of all weeks to go on vacation... I'm sure many of you have heard about the sudden coup in the New York State Senate today. That would've made for a pretty good show tomorrow, complete with a Fred Dicker appearance!

CG said...

Wow, that's intense...it sounds like it's utter chaos up in Albany. They definitely could've mined some interesting commentary and comedy gold out of that scenario.

Speaking of comedy, I think that the Nagin situation is funny because it has several surefire hilarious factors, namely A) Mayor Nagin, B) swine flu, and C) being randomly stuck in China. Too bad they're vacationing this week, indeed...

Fake Cardinal Egan, bejeez. said...

Yeah hi CG, how you doin' CG?

I hijacked the Carindal's laptop, man. He was gettin' off the plane and he left it on the seat, so just like I did after Katrina, I yoinked whatever I could get my chocolate hands on.

Listen, I be typin' to you from one of those cafe places here in Beijing, CG. It sucks, too. I can't get on any of my 'websites'. They tell me if I keep tryin', they're gonna put my ass in the clink. This place is tigher than one of the Carindal's altar boys, CG.

This whole situation has my doo rag in a knot, CG. These gooks be tellin' me that I can't even shave my head or use the toilet. It's like Katrina all over again, CG. Another example of the white man- more like yellow, because I really gotta pee - keepin' the black man down, CG.

Speakin' of takin' a leak, it still burns when I try to. Not that they let me do that here, CG.

And the food, whoa. I've been suckin' more rice than a 1973 Ford Pinto, CG. I've been crappin' like a rabbit, too, CG. Like little pellets and stuff. Some lady here wanted to talk physics with me. I said I was fine with that, as long as she could answer my question about my poop. She said she had no idea. I asked her how she was gonna talk physics with me if she didn't know shit?

Speakin' of rabbits, I tried to get me one of those happy endings the other night before I got detained. The next thing I know this Chinese girl is screamin' and yellin' at me, sayin' I tried to 'do bad things' to her. It's like my brotha Cochran said, if it doesn't fit, you must acquit!

And worst of all, I'm stuck here with my wife. She's got more wrinkles in her face than Nancy Pelosi does in her pants - well, let's just say she hasn't gotten any botox shots down there, CG. I saw her when Obama addressed Congress, flyin' out of her seat like Imus when he gets a coughin' fit, CG.

And where's my home boy Obama in all this, tryin' to fly my ass home? At least when I needed Bush, he flew down there and let me take care of my business on his airplane. The damn Jews won't let Barack talk to me, CG. Ain't that some shit? These ski-slope-nosed morons be hidin' Barack from his chocolate citizens.

I'm gonna wrap this up, but I just wanna say that Beijing makes my office's downtown location look like Fort Knox, if you believe that, CG. My assistant was walking down the street with his cat the other day, next thing I know he comes back with some dinner for me and the wife, CG. I still wanna know - where'd the damn cat go?

Aight I'm out, peace.

Love,
Nagin

CG said...

Thank you for that incredible update, Mayor. It's always great to hear from you.

On another note, I think I just got fired...

Queenpat said...

LOL on Nagen...cg, you on funemployment now?

Al said...

Now, that's funny right there, Fake Cardinal!

We'll start a fund for you, CG...

Mike said...

Um, do you mean real life fired, CG, or fired in the sense that news vans are parked outside your apartment and Harold Ford, Jr. denies he even knows who you are?

Al said...

Mike from Downtown! So this Blog is where all the Imus in the Morning humor went!

Did Blogger fire CG, because she 'condoned' the Cardinal's take on Mayor Nagin?

Developing.....

CG said...

Haha, no, my job is fine - so fortunately it is the latter scenario. After the mayor stated his views on China, I was informed by Harold Ford that he would no longer "call me" ;-)

dee said...

Quick, call Al Sharpton and make a humiliating public apology!

CG said...

Hmmm, if I'm going on Sharpton's radio show for the apology tour, I'll have to look my best for the AP photographer. Let me go find my purple pastel shirt ;)

keyboard.jockey said...

Interestingly Rev Al Sharpton and Rev Jesse Jackson are not picketing outside of the Ed Sullivan theater hmmmmm Letterman doesn't have to worry about being Imused?

http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2009/06/hey-dave-was-she-asking-for-it.html

Al said...

Only Imus gets Imused...and maybe O & A.
Everyone else gets a free pass...

Al said...

Keyboard jockey,
Protest planned for Tuesday, June 16..
Fire Letterman details