Yesterday evening was, by all accounts, very normal and tranquil. I was going about my routine and checking my email. As I scanned my inbox, I noticed that my Spam Folder had a new message. Usually I just flat-out delete them, but unfortunately a well-intended email will sometimes get trapped in there. So I decided to take a peek.
Spam has several defining traits. It often contains a sketchy subject line ("FREE Money and Viagra"), and it's usually sent by a person with an ethnically gibberish name ("Gabaxzafr Maragollelele").This message's subject line was "Warning! This letter contains a virus", so I knew that it was a piece of junk.
But then I saw the name of the email sender: Sliwa.
Yes, Sliwa. So apparently I'm getting spam viruses from a WABC personality. Great.
Why is this happening? I've always shown respect towards him on this website. I've never mocked his 80s wardrobe choices. And this is what I get in return.
The text of the message made no sense either. It went, and I quote: "Go to thy own city. I shall proceed to pay a visit russians, and hungarians, remember, a man is a battle, thy soldiers, o king, filled with joy."
Now, if you're going to send someone a spam message rife with viruses, at least offer them something nice. He could have promised me free Viagra. (I don't biologically need it, but hey, it's the thought that counts.) He could have offered me $13 million from a Nigerian prince, which would translate into 1 million red berets. But no. Instead, I get the Iron Curtain Lord of the Rings.
As soon as I finish posting this, I'm going to check my email again. And if I get any offers of free Viagra and painkillers from a WABC host, I just hope that they won't be from Mr. Sliwa. With any luck, they'll be from Rush Limbaugh instead.