Monday, March 31, 2008

"Give Me Back My Smooth Jazz, You Hags!"

I decided to look up the Imus affiliate in one of my favorite cities, Washington, DC. If you'll recall, he's on an oldies station there that previously had a smooth jazz format.

I eventually stumbled upon their website. It's pretty sparse at the moment, but they do have a little poll where you can express your feelings about the I-Man. Are you're happy that he's back in DC? If you vote, you can write in a comment or read others from different listeners.

Some voters are thrilled that he's back. Others? Not so much.

You might think that smooth jazz aficionados are laid-back, passive individuals. You might not think that they would leave violent, Unabomber-esque messages towards the radio staff. My favorite comment, quoted in the subject line, nicely summarizes their feelings.

These people are angry. In fact, they're so angry that they sound exactly like...well, they sound like me, circa April 2007.

If some DC federal worker goes on a rampage in the next few months, it's very likely that he'll be a Yanni fan...

Friday, March 28, 2008

And Now A Little Something For The Ladies

There are some videos that you wouldn't be caught dead watching, not even in front of your closest friends. Perhaps that video is your favorite hip-hop song. Perhaps it's the Rick Astley Video Megamix. Or perhaps it's something a little more scandalous.

About two weeks ago, it was reported that Craig Crawford was emailing strange videos of himself to the I-Man. What was wrong with them? Well, for starters, Craig was in a hot tub. Also, he was nude.

Fortunately, we discovered that Craig has not been filming porn for the I-Man. Rather, he films random videos for his CQ blog, Trail Mix, and posts them for his fans. (That is more socially acceptable...right?)

Incidentally, Craig Crawford has some obsessive groupies. They make hundreds of posts to every blog entry, and they even make fan videos devoted to him on Youtube. So I can see why he decided to make this video - there actually is a large Internet audience that wants to see him in a hot tub. If Mr. Crawford worked on the first floor of Rainbow Studios, you'd better believe that hundreds would flock to his window every morning to stare at him.

Anyway, I went to Trail Mix, found the video, and posted it below. Let's just say that it's about as incredible it sounds. Just make sure that no one will walk in on you when you're watching it.

Craig Crawford's Video Trail Mix - Hot Tub Edition

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Two things that struck me as I listened to yesterday's show:

1) Bo Dietl mentioned how the Exxon Valdez oil spill harmed the Alaskan wildlife, specifically "the birds, the penguins." Had Mr. Dietl seen the excellent nature documentary Happy Feet, he would have known that penguins live in Antarctica.

2) If Charles ever needs to make extra money, he should consider going into the lucrative "reading aloud dirty text messages sent by politicians" line of work. Sometimes, something makes me laugh so hard that I lose control of myself and have to stop what I'm doing. Charles' eloquent reading of Mayor Kilpatrick's conversations nearly made me cry...from laughter.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Can You Guess...

...the identity of Jose Reyes' batboy in this commercial?

(Big thanks to Julie and QueenPat)

Thursday, March 20, 2008


I know that I'm a little late on this, but I still can't help feeling a little schadenfreude...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Bland Blarney

That's what the Boston Herald says...

On a related note, some of these are nice.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Words To Live By

"If there's anything I hate, it's a mendacious whore."

-Charles, 3/14/08

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Ho, No!

One day you have the governor's office, and one day you don't...

I've been following HoGate '08 ever since the news broke Monday afternoon. In case you live under a rock, Governor Spitzer just resigned after sleeping with a ho...after campaigning for years to bring ethics back to Albany. And after busting a bunch of prostitution rings. As Charles so eloquently put it, the governor has no clothes. (Cambot, give me Client #9...)

I actually stole the entry headline from the NY Post. (In my opinion, the best job in journalism is not found at Charlie Gibson's anchor chair, nor at the editor desk at the New York Times. The best job possible is the headline writer for the NY Post, and, conversely, the NY Daily News.) I laughed at the headline, even though it brought back bitter memories of HoGate '07. (Though, of course, that one involved calling someone a ho, as opposed to merely sleeping with one.)

I have a theory as to why Governor Spitzer got in trouble. No, it does not involve sleeping with hookers for six years. It also does not involve using your close friend's name when you engage in illegal activity with said hookers. (Seriously, I can't be the only one who finds that last one hilarious. What a great friend.) This involves something different.

I found the following item buried in this piece from the New York Times. It describes the Governor's last-ditch efforts before the news became public.

By 10:30 on Monday morning, it was clear in Albany that something was wrong. Mr. Spitzer’s office abruptly canceled a speech to a family planning conference, about a half-hour before he was scheduled to ascend the podium. The governor also canceled a private meeting with Cardinal Edward M. Egan, at first sending word that Mr. Paterson would stand in for him, and then abandoning the session altogether.

Let this be a lesson to you, boys and girls: Do not mess with Cardinal Egan. Do not leave him in the lurch, like the Governor did. Because he knows about the times you've played hide the shelaylee.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Growing Up Green

This is the front of Mrs. Imus' upcoming book, which you can preorder here. It goes without saying that the cover is absolutely adorable.

In the next few weeks of the show, expect to hear much speculation about A) the spaghetti-strap tank top and B) the true paternity of Deirdre's "children."

(One more thing: When you order this book, be sure you're getting the right one. You may accidentally click on a book called "Growing Up Green: Newark Catholic Football and The 1985 State Championship". I know it's tough to differentiate between the two, so be sure to get the one with the cute little children.)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Imus Returns to DC This Thursday

Imus finally has a Washington affiliate - and it's on a stronger signal than his previous station in the District.

Starting March 6, Imus in the Morning will broadcast from WJZW 105.9. The station recently made the transition from Smooth Jazz to Oldies.

March Events

A few events worth noting:

Rob Bartlett will star in the eponymous "Rob Bartlett's Remarkably Life-Like Show" this Saturday, March 8th, at the Community Theatre in Morristown, NJ at 8:00 PM. Get tickets here and information about the theatre here, and go to for more information.

Also, the "Imus in the Morning" program will be broadcasting live from Boston this coming St. Patrick's Day, on Monday, March 17. They'll be at the Ritz-Carlton at the Boston Common. It's sponsored by WTKK,"The Talk Pollution," and you can go to their website to register for front-row seats. (Caution: if you try to register, they'll take you to this page that asks you to "Join the Evolution," which sounds like they want you to go all Charles Darwin and grow a ridged forehead. Anyway.) If you want to see the I-Man in person and you don't mind waking up at the crack of dawn, then go to WTKK's website for more information.

Also, if you go the show in Boston, you will bear witness to this creepy-ass poster:

Monday, March 3, 2008

Eating Your Own

Today I stumbled across an interesting article on Digg about healthy eating. Now, the Imus program often touts the benefits of an organic diet and a healthy lifestyle. But something tells me that they won't be discussing the positive side effects of eating this little item. For starters, one of the castmembers would be committing cannibalism...

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Not Dead Yet

Leave it to me to be swamped with work on a week when something actually happens.

I didn't really miss much...only the return of Cardinal Egan. I nearly screamed out for joy when I heard he was back, and I know I wasn't the only one. I'd been missing him since last Good Friday, when he made what many false prophets deemed his swan song. And if that wasn't awesome enough, we also saw the return of Kinky Friedman, Pigs Feet, and a guy named Fred. Each of these three have a fanbase of their own - I think that a lot of fans may like them more than Imus himself.

There is one bit of unsettling news, namely that two of WABC's beloved personalities have been fired due to budget problems. This makes me sad, as I know that a lot of listeners love John Gambling and George Weber, and I know what it feels like to have my favorite radio show yanked from me for no good reason. I hope they find employment soon.

Finally, I have been informed that on yesterday's program, a certain sportscaster pulled a Chippendales live on the air. What troubles me most is that, if you watch the following clip montage, you will see that same sportscaster has a history of this behavior. Someone needs to stage an intervention.