Monday, February 4, 2008

He's Not Happy Until You're Not Happy

Yesterday I woke up a little earlier than usual, and I decided to catch a bit of the show while I got ready for class. Against my better judgment, I turned on the imusonair.com stream, bracing myself for PSAs about middle school girls hating science and the dangers of screaming at children.

But I was in for a treat.

No, Bo Dietl did not give a Stinger to the kid who sleeps with a baseball bat. And no, the one screaming dad did not go into detail about "yellow snow." Even better.

Apparently, the Imus folks have come up with new "motivational" slogans celebrating the show. They include:

-"Do you enjoy compromising your standards for amusement?"

-"Side effects include a four-hour erection. That is also the length of this program. Coincidence?"

-"Why do bad things happen to good people? Because it's amusing!"

-"Hey, does this looks infected? More Imus in the Morning, coming up."


Which ones did I miss?

18 comments:

Al said...

Oh, you heard those too! I didn't know if they were the local guys messing around or what..I like the new 'promos'!

Boy, was the I-Man a grumpy ole bastard today or what? LOL..poor Lou can't even go take a leak without Imus going off about why Lou isn't at the controls!!

Funny stuff...

Bruce said...

Very refreshing indeed. Not only those wonderful promos, but different commercials too. Think they have found that many people only have the internet to listen to Imus.

Thanks College Girl.

Al said...

Here's one more...it goes something like:

"Imus in the Morning - waterboarding on the radio"

Al said...

Imus is right...the WABC Traffic and Weather girls are terrific...

I like to listen to them, even though their reports have NO relevance to us out here in New Mexico...

CollegeGirl said...

I love the traffic girls too! And I don't know why. They're so...pleasant. And soothing. And they sound like they're having fun.

I also love these new promos. It shows the grumpy side of him is finally coming out.

channelXRFR said...

College Girl,

Don't know if you get RFD. But the scroll is an absolute scream mixing news with McCord humor!

Al said...

It's also cool the way Karith and Tony are providing a little Black History(in this Black History month) through their comedic essays...

So a Black man really did invent the potato chip, as Karith said?

Al said...

Warner Wolf is insane...lol

frec said...

"Nietzsche was right. God IS dead. Need proof? More Imus in the Morning is coming up."

"With nothing to say and saying that too loudly, more Imus in the Morning is coming up."

"Holding up a mirror to narcissistic derangement. More Imus in the Morning is coming up."

"You know who Satan REALLY is? More Imus in the Morning is coming up."


Handiwork of Charles McCord all over it...?

Mike said...

For the next one, the announcer should start with something like, "Warning: Listening to this program might cause the loss of will to live." Then they should play the end of the original McCord moment - the Whitaker Chambers incident that featured Charles screaming, "I wish I were dead!"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TxefPeKn_Rs

CollegeGirl said...

Merci beaucoup for those slogans, Frec and Al...they are hilarious.

I want to see the scroll really badly, but unfortunately I don't have RFD. I loved the one that they read aloud the other day: "Thomas Monson becomes new Prophet for Mormon Church...but then again, he knew that." Charles is pretty much my favorite person ever, not gonna lie. Only he could come up with phrases like "narcissistic derangement."

Mike, I absolutely love that video. It's hilarious. You can literally see him go from normal to beet-red in a matter of seconds. "I WISH I WERE DEAD!" Classic.

Frec said...

College Girl:

That was the tip-off for me too - "narcissistic derangement" - only Charles! And who else would be grammatically correct enough to use the adverb "loudly" instead of "loud."

Here's one I came up with:

"More Imus in the Morning coming up. He makes the Devil look GOOD."

Al said...

With Imus, conservative WABC has gotten kind of rowdy in the Morning...lol

Maybe WABC could hire David Shuster to be a political reporter for Imus...looks like Naughty David will be available soon...ha!

Al said...

..and to think that so many thought of David Shuster as being "good people"..

and he got suspended?

Why do BAD things always happen to GOOD people?

...because it's AMUSING!!

CollegeGirl said...

Al, LOL...that made me laugh. The David Shuster thing is of course ridiculous, but then again, it IS MSNBC. (And he DID seem like a nice guy...)

Frec, great slogan, and I love Charles' perfect grammar and pronunciation. He's the only person I've ever heard who pronounces "Tehran" like "Tay-her-an," the way it's supposed to be. And I'm probably the only person who's ever noticed that, too. :-)

laree said...

I love you but Get off my phone, no Get off my phone. This is why we don't take phone calls. They'er back :)

Al said...

lol laree,
and here I thought that Imus was giving a shout out to THIS blog...

get off my phone!...he should take more calls!

CollegeGirl said...

LOL, I heard that...that was great. :-) I guess the one difference between my "get off my phone" and theirs is that I usually censor the s-bomb...;-)