Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Breaking: Imus Responsible For Global Warming

John MacKinnon, a writer for Canada’s Edmonton Journal, has been angsting over what he believes to have been a terrible summer for sports:

A week away from the ceremonial end of what we'll derisively call the
"Summer" of 2007, any objections to calling it a wrap right now?

Didn't think so. Enough, already.

You're tempted to dub it the Summer of Discontent in sports, but that
doesn't quite capture it. Not by a longshot.

This is the summer that gave us radio shockjock Don Imus and the unsavory
comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team that got him fired
- and sued.

Here are several dates to keep in mind for Mr. MacKinnon:

First Day of Spring (Vernal Equinox): March 21
Imus Utters Infamous Comments: April 4
Imus Fired For Said Comments: April 11-12
First Day Of Summer (Summer Solstice): June 21

So Imus helped destroy the entire summer sports season, even though he uttered those comments a full two and a half months before summer actually started. Nice.

How did this happen? Well, if we are to believe the media’s tales about Imus circa April, we could assume that the I-Man has evil powers to shape-shift the seasons and destroy the environment with a simple flick of the wrist. He’s just an upgraded Captain Planet villian.

Personally, though, I think that most Canadians secretly have no idea what season it is. Is it really summer if the high is 45? Is it really spring if there are five feet of snow outside your doorstep? So I’ll take the benefit of the doubt and assume that the poor guy is simply confused.

Oh, Canada…


Anonymous said...

Hey there,
I'll take your post as tongue-in-cheek...but please know that you must NEVER ever read, let alone quote, anything written by anyone from Alberta....EVER. Albertans embarrass Canada on a regular basis. :)

CollegeGirl said...

Ahahahahaha. Will keep in mind, Blank. :-)